John Cristani – Super Affiliate Review

John Cristani Super Affiliate Review

I reviewed John Cristani back in 2017. At that time, I recommended his Internet Jetset course, mainly based on the price which I didn’t consider a rip-off. It seemed fair for a product/his knowledge, at a price point that wouldn’t hurt anyone who fancied giving it a go. In the sea of all-too-familiar four-figure rip-off prices that is affiliate marketing, I had to commend Cristani for that.

But I guess Cristani wasn’t getting rich enough, fast enough, because he’s decided to forgo that reasonably priced product offering and go full-on internet marketing guru piece of shit.

Yup, Cristani’s pitched in with the rest of them, and although I previously gave him the benefit of the doubt, it’s clear he’s always been a huckster.

Now he’s touting his Super Affiliate System, which is pretty much the same pitch as Internet Jetset, except instead of doing YouTube product reviews of Amazon merchandise for the affiliate commissions, he’s preaching flogging ClickBank products for the commissions to be had there.

And claiming this all has six figure earning potential, and to be in the six figures club you don’t need any particular skills, aptitude, vision or experience.

Well, that’s great. That’s a job ad I’d reply to. I mean, six figure salaried jobs that require no resume or references… that’s typical isn’t it?

It is in John Cristani’s reality, apparently.


Webinar Woes

So I sat through his two and a half hour pre-recorded webinar pitch that kicks off with 448 people online and steadily increases, with not one person dropping out. That’s got to be a record. Or the beginning of the bullshit.

It was a by-the-numbers pitch too, stuffing every marketing cliché Cristani could squeeze into it. It was a bit more entertaining than some, though, as Cristani appears to have gone insane since I last saw him, bouncing about like a cross between Charles Manson and a third rate version of Robin Williams.

I reckon Manson would be proud of that intense stare-thing Cristani is doing too, combined with what looks like a home-made haircut that’d embarrass The Three Stooges. The effect is pretty jarring to be honest, and doesn’t really imbue me with confidence.

If you’re going to present yourself as a guru whose advice is worth paying for, then I’d recommend not cultivating the image of an escaped lunatic.

Cristani wastes no time in diving into his carny shtick, missing only a straw hat and cane to usher us into his bunco booth. Sporting a roll of cash, he flicks through the notes proclaiming “STACKED”, enticing us with the the unsaid promise that he’s about to impart the secrets to getting similar “stacks” cluttering up our kitchen tables too.

Roll Up, Roll Up!

And he’s got an impressive pile of them if that money thrown so casually all over the table is for real – or even if some of it is.

However, Cristani’s got a security guard so we know it is(!) If we take his word for everything that is, and believe the money’s all real and the security guard is too.

Personally, I wouldn’t, and the antics within the first five minutes of this webinar pretty much guarantee I never will again.

The guy’s just another straight-up hustler, doing as little as possible, to get as much of your money as possible.

The testimonials that come later, many I recognised from the other system, which is a completely different program and method of selling. So even if they’re genuine, he’s deceiving you with words of praise for an unrelated course.

Nice. I guess if I sold singing courses, the reviews would be good for recycling for a carpentry course too.

There’s nothing subtle about this pitch. The money lies on the table beside him the whole time, like he’s playing movie drug dealer, and is there just in case you forget why you’re listening to this shit or start engaging your brain and paying too much attention to what he’s saying.

John Cristani Stacks of Cash

STACKS!

Like you might notice the guy who claims a $1.5 million dollar marketing business appears to be renting an office box room in a rent-a-office complex. Not the “executive” option either, but the standard by-the-hour deal. At least it comes with a flip board.


What’s He Selling?

Cristani promises that this course of his is very different to anything you’ve ever seen, but that’s only true if you’ve happened to stumble into this pitch as your very first webinar and never heard of ClickBank till that moment: there is nothing new in this course. Literally nothing you couldn’t find out yourself for free if you wanted to try flogging ClickBank products via Facebook and Google ads.

Speaking of those ads, later on Cristani fires up an example of a skin cream product that makes the sort of claims for itself that’d never get approved on Facebook. Beauty and slimming ads are notoriously difficult to get past FB ad approval, as they don’t allow anything that might trigger a viewer to feel negatively about themselves. So that whole example is moot – and Cristani doesn’t seem to know it.

But then again he doesn’t seem to notice that at the start of the webinar he assures us his system requires very little effort, and by the time of the hard-sell, he’s warning that it takes work and application.

He also warns that you need trust, and he doesn’t want the sort of people on board that are going to question the process and inject a lot of doubt and negativity into the pot.

I bet he doesn’t. If you’re going to take people’s money on the bait of making them into millionaires (Cristani claims “many” of his students are, and yet others are “making massive amounts online”) then you wouldn’t want anyone but true-believers handing over their cash and putting their faith completely in John Cristani. Thou shalt not question him or the system, or your meagre results compared to what he led you to believe they would be.

That would be being negative, and if there’s one thing we know from internet marketers and gurus, any sort of critical thinking is bad.

It’s bad because it holds you back; it stunts your progress; it means you might ask for a refund.

And you’re going to need more than just the money to buy into Cristani’s course, because you’re going to need money to blow on internet advertising campaigns: Facebook, Google, Bing, LinkedIn etc.

Believe me, those ad platforms can get real pricey, real quick. You can blow through hundreds on just one platform in a few hours… and get zero sales out of it.

But Cristani knows this, so he’s offering you $895 of free ad credits on these platforms.

Except he isn’t.

John Cristani Manson Stare

Helter Skelter

That “free” spend isn’t some special John Cristani associated promotion with these advertising companies, but just the free credits open to anybody who signs up with them. That’s the bullshit he’s spinning to try and make it sound like some sort of special deal for his students, “secret info” at very least.

So you got to wonder about the “multi-millionaire” students he claims to have made. Shouldn’t be too hard if he names them. I mean, if they’ve made as much money as Cristani makes it sound, they’d be gracing a Rich List somewhere you could check out.

Just not the ones in any of his video testimonials, though.

Why is it, no one, ever, in a testimonial is living in the sort of mansion or even room, befitting of someone with all the money they claim they’ve got stuffed in their bank accounts. Big Taylor is featured in a grim box room, captured on low quality video, assuring us he’s living the capitalist’s dream thanks to John Cristani.

Is anyone convinced?

I’m especially not convinced with this method that’s “unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.”

Apparently, this revolutionary method consists of getting yourself some web space, and uploading the already created sales pages that come with the products in ClickBank.

These pages are all “proven” and thus no need to rewrite them, or redesign the advertising wheel. You get told a web developer is $5k a month alone to do the necessary websites you’re going to need, so use what’s already provided. At least Vick Strizheus suggests different, that you don’t want exactly the same web page thousands of others have used, and will bounce off from as soon as they land on it (taking with it a click of your ad spend budget).

Cristani’s obviously never heard of Wix, Square Space or any of the WordPress web builder themes, as nobody looking to throw up a simple sales page in 2020 needs a web developer. That’s just outright bullshittery.

As for SEO tailoring, that doesn’t come into it, as you’re not going to be waiting around months or years for that website seed of yours to mature, you’re going to throw visitors at it via the paid ad platforms.

Cristani cites an example of spending a few bucks, making double that on the sales, and then reinvesting it back into ad spend to keep doubling it up.

Like he claims, he makes it sound so easy.

Except even while he’s saying that, he must know it’s unfettered bullshit.

Boy, are you going to get burned, and burned bad on these ad platforms before you make a cent. It’s pay-to-play and there’s much bigger spenders than you out there bidding for clicks, and who know what they’re doing.

I’m not saying you won’t learn, that you couldn’t master it, I’m just saying that you’re going to watch a lot of money go down the plug hole before you do.

Even with Cristani’s email list of leads that you’re promised in his program. Which you can use to spam out emails to, or upload to Facebook as a Look-a-Like audience.

And which I’m betting isn’t worth a damn. Because which marketer gives away his best prospects to all and sundry, not even targeted, selling whatever the heck to.

The course is six weeks long and padded out with the usual motivational fluff on getting the right mindset and preparing for success, amid how to use ClickBank and set up your sales pages – all information you get for free on ClickBank’s tutorials and any good web host. And if you want motivational pep-talks, YouTube’s got hundreds of thousands of them.

Of course what you don’t get is Cristani’s over-the-shoulder training, replicating what he does, and there isn’t a month he doesn’t make at least $100,000 he tells us.

That’s gotta be worth the price of the course alone, what with his guarantee that if you implement his system faithfully, and still don’t make money, then you’ll get your money back.

Fat chance. Again, like all these marketers touting that, just try it. You’ll find it’s next to impossible to prove or meet their criteria, and you’ll get back precisely zero.

If John Cristani’s making a hundred grand a month, it’s not by dishing out refunds.

But anyway, all you got to do to join the six figures a month club, is commit to watching five hours of videos a week, for the next six weeks.

It’s that easy.

Forget going to medical or business school, spending years in education with all the stress and sacrifice that comes with it, all in the hope of a better life – instead just sign up to this course. Six weeks on a five hour work week is all the education and training you need to set yourself up for life.

Believe it? Cristani hopes you’re desperate enough to.


What’s All This Going To Cost You

Then we get to how much all this costs.

Of course we can’t just be told, we’ve got to have the whole thing stretched out and costed to show what great value we’re getting – which Cristani claims is $30,476 of “real value”.

You may wonder how he gets these figures (I’d guess a proctology doctor with a flashlight) but Cristani values such things as ClickBanks own free pre-sell pages as being worth $4k, and the buyer data he claims firms gave him for nothing just because he asked nicely (and never mind privacy laws) to be worth $12k.

So it’s a steal for Supper Affiliate to be priced at $1,997, a whopping 60% off the $4,985 that the first students paid(!) and for TODAY ONLY – on the pre-recorded webinar that streams on the 15min mark every hour – it’s further discounted to $997!

No wonder there’s the sound of sales pinging off every second as folks snap this up!

Always ends in a “7” them prices. Every damn internet marketing course or product. It’s as sure a feature as the fake sales message pop-ups.

That’s just a marketing ploy to try and get you to go running for your credit card. In live events these hucksters employ folks to jump up off their seats and go running to back of the room. It’s all fake and stooges and thoroughly predictable.

I wouldn’t even call these “sales techniques”, it’s just con tricks to get you to spend.

Like the questions that are supposedly asked by the webinar attendees, that helpfully address all the ways you can send John Cristani your money.

There’s supposedly a Los Angeles stock trader that calls in with a problem purchasing – after trying three different credit cards and PayPal no less – so John can read out the email for “support”.

I mean, damn, if a stock trader wants in on this, maybe you should too!

I noted that the security guard watching over Cristani’s stacks had disappeared by this point. I don’t blame him at a two and half hour webinar of Cristani bigging himself up and repeating the same thing in a dozen different ways of decreasing imagination. Probably glad that Cristani only paid him an hour to stand in the room… whoever he was.


How Dumb Are You?

So do I recommend this? Not a chance in hell.

Will you make money with course, get in the six and seven figure earners club? 100% chance of nope.

After you’ve spent money on this you’re going to need more again for your website, and a bigger bit more for that ad spend. But fear not as Cristani has worked out a special deal for you to get web hosting at $3 a month, but only if you use the promo code that’s another affiliate payment to Cristani. Plus you don’t pay $3 a month, it’ll be an annual subscription at the least. Then you’ll have your domain name purchase on top of that… but the big one will be your ad spend, which in time, will dwarf all of that.

Cristani estimates you need another additional $250 for that, but you’ll blow through that faster than a newbie “with a system” to the tables in Vegas.

You won’t be doubling that up and reinvesting. It’ll be gone. And no one will have bought that overpriced face cream you’ve never heard of that Cristani told you is a winner.

I’m not saying don’t give the whole ClickBank thing a go, and try your hand at the ad platforms and selling – there is money to be made. I’m just saying the only one making money from this course is John Cristani, and he’s shamelessly bullshitting you.


So What Can I Try?

If you want to make money online, then look at something a bit less expensive and realistic.

You can read my review of Wealthy Affiliate here, but basically, there’s no three figure outlays or high pressure sell. You get everything you need in the monthly subscription including marketing, website, SEO, ad platforms, key word planner… and a buzzing community of enthusiasts and experts you can ask questions of at any time. And not on a Facebook group – why are these guys like Cristani always so cheap they never create anything but a free FB group? (Actually I know why.)

Don’t take my word for it, though, check it out yourself. There’s no “credit card required for verification” bullshit, you get a trial week’s worth of full membership and then it reverts to free membership access. More than enough time to decide if you’re sticking around or not.

What have you got to lose?

Other than $997, which you get to keep.


Recommended further reading:

I’m sure John Cristani’s read this one.

Millionaire fastlaneThe Millionaire Fastlane

Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime!

by M. J. DeMarco

4 comments

  • Allan

    ADAM!! Long time no hear! Where you been? Great to see another contribution from you. Not going to lie haven’t even read it yet, I’m just so glad and happy we get another timely contribution on the fake online gurus. Been waiting patiently my friend! Like a year from the last one.

    Hope whatever you’re doing outside the blog is working well for you, and thanks again for taking the time. After a royally shitty day at work, a strong drink and a good read is the perfect unwind.

    Hope you don’t mind me asking, are you still focused on the blog or is it taking a back seat?

    • Adam

      Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I kinda neglected things on here last year as I was focusing on my adult site. I mean to post here a lot more this year and just pretty much riff on anything and everything 🙂 Hopefully some of it will be of interest to more than just me 😉

  • Bree

    Thanks for the feedback, Adam. I’m brand new to Affiliate Marketing, so I can see straight through Cristani’s lies on stuff like how many people are attending the webinar, but I don’t see what he is selling as clearly as you do. I was excited about the course, but wanted to find some reviews on this webinar to get some feedback before purchasing. Now, I kinda feel like I’m out there floundering alone, again, without a structured course to help me get to $10,000 a month quickly, but what you’re saying makes sense. I’ll check out your other review of Wealthy Affiliate and read the book you’re recommending to read.

    • Adam

      Thanks, Bree. But I’ve got to say neither Cristani, or any program, will get you to $10,000 a month quickly. Anyone making that promise is definitely bullshitting you. Not saying your goal is impossible, but give yourself the time to get there.

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